Consciousness

Isn't the title a mind grabber ? We already know the word means the essence, or totality of attitudes, opinions, and sensitivities held or thought to be held by an individual. A critical awareness of one's own identity and situation, ---- or so the dictionary says . The word came to mind this morning as I rode to town with my daughter, Pat, and heard all about her recent trip to visit her daughter who now lives in a big city, and her concerns for her. I cannot assure her that her thoughts and worries are far fetched as I have traveled that road for many years.

I wish I understood the differences and the reasons some mothers can be more objective about the lives of their children. What makes them so sure that there are is no boogie man under the bed, or a vampire hovering to devour her precious child? What makes them so confident that they cease to think of the events and happenings in their children's lives which does not seem to be on their list of worries? I wish I knew why some are so concerned and worried about their offspring who have been cared and loved, the same as the others, yet have doubts that life is going to treat their child with fairness and kindness.

I think the answers lie in one's upbringing. If you had a loving home with a father and mother who balanced each other and had confidence and led the way without fear, their children came up with the inbred knowledge that made them self contained. Those parents can and do release their children and get on with their own lives. Isn't that the way it should be?

Those who came up without this balance do not have the sense of self and it creates floundering in life. The balance is missing because the example, the knowledge and truth are not there. They search for a good life without the tools they need thus creating many unsafe areas in their lives. Without common sense and balance they struggle to survive and fail by making wrong decisions, no self control, and develop addictive personalities.

Someone bright and knowledgeable once said that 'we seek our own level'. I'm not sure just what they meant by that - - - as I spent my time thinking that everyone had a spark of goodness in them so we shouldn't judge that one is better than another. So we have a difference in thought. It makes me wonder about life being 'fair', you know that word that means being objective and dispassionate. So I have gone in a circle with my thoughts.

Once you do have a child or several children, you worry. It goes with the territory and it really doesn't matter whether they are balanced or not; I dont' think may of us are to begin with. So I will commiserate with my daughter and tell her not to worry that she did a good job raising her daughter, then I will go and look in a mirror and have that talk to myself about fruitless worries and continue down the road worrying about which of my children is having difficulties today and what can I do about it??? Nothing. It is their own road to travel and worry doesn't help a bit, but that does not stop me from worrying, fretting, musing, wondering and wishing I was a wise magician.